The framework for a not-for-profit organization brought up questions like where would the money come from, what would be the guidelines and what would be the ministry objectives. At the time, there was a potential source of $30,000. It was a surprise that as we looked over the paperwork needed to apply for a 501(c)3 status, we also learned there was a non-profit resource organization located in Little Rock that could help with filling out the paperwork. This saved hundreds of dollars in attorney fees.
A setback for me was finding out that a Board of Directors would have to be named and that they would have the authority to oversee the direction of the ministry as well as the finances. Ashamed to admit it, I was not willing to relinquish the vision God had given us and the passion for small churches to be governed by a Board. Willis, my husband, soon set me straight. “If it is God’s plan and God’s way of ministering to His people, then He will be in control and not the Board.”
With much prayer and Bible study, God led us along one step at a time. I remember one incident during the first few months that humbled me. It certainly set me on a straight path and adjusted my attitude for the work ahead. At the time, we had just moved back to Arkansas from Knoxville, Tennessee where Willis had been an Associate Pastor. At this time, we were living in a borrowed house, working part-time jobs with no benefits and barely enough money even for food. I became discouraged.
In personal Bible study each day, I usually write down my thoughts about a specific Bible passage. These include expressions of praise and thanksgiving as well as problems and decisions for God’s will. The day in question was one of those frustrating days. It seemed our family was in a holding pattern, as though God had sat us on the shelf. Have you ever been in stall-out time? I was also having a “p.p.p” (private pity party). What came out from my pen onto the paper that day was anger at God. My heart was hurting and I wrote: “God, I have tried to be obedient and serve you faithfully. In fact, so has my whole family. I gave up my business in Arkansas to follow my husband, believing it was Your will, Lord, to serve a church in Tennessee.” The whining continued as I wrote, “I gave up my dreams and plans for another store located in Tennessee because I was afraid it would sidetrack us from the church work.” I went on complaining, “God, I deserve to have a normal home, with a normal salary, health insurance, and benefits.” On and on the list went as I named all of the things that I thought would make my life bearable.
You see, I had owned a gift and interior design shop in Gassville, Arkansas. All of the items in the store were custom designed by the employees or by others and sold on consignment. I loved being in the shop and meeting the people. Also, it was a great witnessing tool for me.
So, when we moved to Knoxville, I began the process to open a shop near Gatlinburg with retreat cabins on the back of the land. The project was consuming my time as well as my husband’s. It was hard to discern whether we were getting sidetracked from the work at the church and so we halted the progress on the store.
Getting back to the prayer journal, may I emphasis these were frustrating times! I know of God’s faithfulness and also know satan’s intentions to turn us away from God’s plans. Thank goodness, God is in control and is in the business of bringing His children along in the journey. God knows our hearts, he created us.
I believe God used this very page in the prayer journal as preparation for a huge step of faith unlike any I had made before. My attitude would have to be adjusted to meet the journey. One day, as I was flipping through the pages of the journal to review what prayers had been answered or what I needed to continue praying for, I saw a note at the bottom of a page. It was not my handwriting. The maturity of the message was not only overwhelming but humiliating. My 18-year-old son had apparently been in my bedroom using the phone and picked up the notebook to use paper. Whatever the reason, God used the incident to make my heart more pliable and ready for the days ahead. The self-centered words I had written on that page cut clear to my heart as I saw them through my son’s eyes. “Mother, these things don’t matter much in the Kingdom of God.”

No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other, you cannot serve God and money. For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink, nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life’s span? And why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin. Yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these. But if God so arrays the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more do so for you, O men of little faith? Do not be anxious then, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘With what shall we clothe ourselves?’ For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
Matthew 6:25-32 NAS